I’ve been meaning to blog for quite awhile but life with a brand new infant takes its precedence in our home at the moment. 🙂 It’s hard to believe that our little princess is already over 5 weeks! She is growing, putting on pounds, and starting to show us her beautiful smile and open her eyes more frequently now.
Am I enjoying every moment of this stage right now? Well, no. Are you shocked?! I’m just being honest. I love my little girl with all my heart and soul. She is my great blessing and treasure. A special and rare gem and her daddy and mommy love and cherish her. However, we continue to adjust to what life is like having a colicky baby. Our hearts break when our dear little one suffers through spells of hysteria at any time of the day or night. Even though I love watching her during this stage of infancy, I look forward to the day when she mostly smiles and coos and can be happy and content. We are tired and often overwhelmed; but through it all, I’m blessed beyond measure.
You see, I don’t want to take advantage of this precious little life. When Abigail was born, we were encouraged to stay at the hospital for an extra day as the staff was concerned with the drop in her weight: it was more than expected. Once we were discharged, a nurse visited our home to check on her. That week, we went to Abbie’s first checkup and the pediatrician had become greatly concerned with how Abbie’s weight was declining. We tried all we could to help her gain weight but feared she would be hospitalized as that was a step the pediatrician was leaning towards. A 2nd visit to the pediatrician left us devastated. Abigail was labeled as ” failure to thrive”. This seemed to be more than I could bare. Fears attacked me. Was something physically wrong with my baby that was going unnoticed? Would I lose my dear child? Difficult days full of heartbreak and tears followed. But God was gracious. Over the process of time, Abigail slowly but surely started to gain weight. What a relief. We were thrilled! Now, when we look at her and see her pudgy little cheeks and belly, we couldn’t be happier!
Through all of this, the Lord impressed upon my heart 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” I realized that if I had “perfect” love for my Saviour, it would cast out all the fear that I was being tormented by. I had to trust Him. I had to put Abbie in His hands and wait in expectancy on Him. It was a hard lesson and continues to be a lesson as I look to Him when I don’t have all the answers and struggle with the uncertainty of motherhood. I’ve never done this before. I lack knowledge and that is scary to me. But to know that God has instilled within me the ability to be the “perfect” mother to Abigail brings its relief. He chose me for this work! He chose me, and me alone, to be Abbie’s mother. I just need to look to Him, the All-Wise One and follow His leading and direction while being open and responsive to those He has put in my life who can offer wisdom and advice. Oh, I’ve so much to learn – but I do love being a mommy! I count it a privilege to look into those precious dark blue eyes and know that I am raising one of the daughter’s of the King. This little human being has a life that’s been ordained of God and can bring Him honor and glory and advance His kingdom on this earth! What a responsibility and what an awesome undertaking!
On a lighter note, the man and I are looking forward to a vacation out west. We will be going to visit John’s family and “show the baby off”. 😉 I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with everyone as we haven’t seen the family since last November at our wedding! I’m looking forward to the reuniting for sure.
If the Lord brings our family to your mind, please keep us in prayer. We are flying for this trip and going out and coming back will be long days with very early and late flights. We are hoping that Abbie will feel well and be a good girl on the flights. 🙂 We don’t want to disturb the fellow passengers with loud screams if we can help it!
Thank you to those who have left kind, sweet comments! Thank you for your encouragement! It is a beautiful thing to be surrounded by the family of God and know that we are cared for and prayed for!