Adjustments and Learning Lessons

Dear Readers,

I’ve been meaning to blog for quite awhile but life with a brand new infant takes its precedence in our home at the moment. πŸ™‚ It’s hard to believe that our little princess is already over 5 weeks! She is growing, putting on pounds, and starting to show us her beautiful smile and open her eyes more frequently now.

IMG_0102Am I enjoying every moment of this stage right now? Well, no. Are you shocked?! I’m just being honest. I love my little girl with all my heart and soul. She is my great blessing and treasure. A special and rare gem and her daddy and mommy love and cherish her. However, we continue to adjust to what life is like having a colicky baby. Our hearts break when our dear little one suffers through spells of hysteria at any time of the day or night. Even though I love watching her during this stage of infancy, I look forward to the day when she mostly smiles and coos and can be happy and content. We are tired and often overwhelmed; but through it all, I’m blessed beyond measure.

You see, I don’t want to take advantage of this precious little life. When Abigail was born, we were encouraged to stay at the hospital for an extra day as the staff was concerned with the drop in her weight: it was more than expected. Once we were discharged, a nurse visited our home to check on her. That week, we went to Abbie’s first checkup and the pediatrician had become greatly concerned with how Abbie’s weight was declining. We tried all we could to help her gain weight but feared she would be hospitalized as that was a step the pediatrician was leaning towards. A 2nd visit to the pediatrician left us devastated. Abigail was labeled as ” failure to thrive”. This seemed to be more than I could bare. Fears attacked me. Was something physically wrong with my baby that was going unnoticed? Would I lose my dear child? Difficult days full of heartbreak and tears followed. But God was gracious. Over the process of time, Abigail slowly but surely started to gain weight. What a relief. We were thrilled! Now, when we look at her and see her pudgy little cheeks and belly, we couldn’t be happier!

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Through all of this, the Lord impressed upon my heart 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” I realized that if I had “perfect” love for my Saviour, it would cast out all the fear that I was being tormented by. I had to trust Him. I had to put Abbie in His hands and wait in expectancy on Him. It was a hard lesson and continues to be a lesson as I look to Him when I don’t have all the answers and struggle with the uncertainty of motherhood. I’ve never done this before. I lack knowledge and that is scary to me. But to know that God has instilled within me the ability to be the “perfect” mother to Abigail brings its relief. He chose me for this work! He chose me, and me alone, to be Abbie’s mother. I just need to look to Him, the All-Wise One and follow His leading and direction while being open and responsive to those He has put in my life who can offer wisdom and advice. Oh, I’ve so much to learn – but I do love being a mommy! I count it a privilege to look into those precious dark blue eyes and know that I am raising one of the daughter’s of the King. This little human being has a life that’s been ordained of God and can bring Him honor and glory and advance His kingdom on this earth! What a responsibility and what an awesome undertaking!

"Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name."

“Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.”

On a lighter note, the man and I are looking forward to a vacation out west. We will be going to visit John’s family and “show the baby off”. πŸ˜‰ I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with everyone as we haven’t seen the family since last November at our wedding! Β I’m looking forward to the reuniting for sure.

If the Lord brings our family to your mind, please keep us in prayer. We are flying for this trip and going out and coming back will be long days with very early and late flights. We are hoping that Abbie will feel well and be a good girl on the flights. πŸ™‚ We don’t want to disturb the fellow passengers with loud screams if we can help it!

Thank you to those who have left kind, sweet comments! Thank you for your encouragement! It is a beautiful thing to be surrounded by the family of God and know that we are cared for and prayed for!

Blessings always!

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Abbie got to meet some more of her cousins!

Getting some sunshine and fresh air

Getting some sunshine and fresh air

Mommy loves to give kisses

Mommy loves to give kisses

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2 thoughts on “Adjustments and Learning Lessons

  1. Oh, sweet Sara! It has been 15 years since my oldest son had colic and I remember it like it was yesterday. I felt so betrayed by my pediatrician who told me it would go away at 3 months (it lasted until he was 5 months) and I also struggled with my own feelings of inadequacy — why can’t I make my baby happy?? It took me an hour to get him to sleep every night with all that crying. I thought I would lose my mind. And then I met another mom with a colicky baby and even though all the tips in the world may not help YOUR baby, I was just really glad to have a friend who understood “red hour” and how much I dreaded the end of the day. The blessing was that he was my first baby so I had nothing else to do but focus on trying to make him comfortable — I can’t imagine having others to care for AND a colicky baby, you know?

    And not that you’re looking for tips, but the one that saved me (that I figured out on my own) was that my son loved his carseat. He would sleep like a dream in it (you know, that infant “bucket” seat). So, we started putting it in his crib at night and when I’d finally get him to sleep in the rocking chair, I would lay him ever-so-gently into the car seat (no straps) to keep his head elevated. He slept like nobody’s business! It was just more comfy for his tummy, I guess. Just do whatever works!

    Your daughter is beautiful and it’s fun to see photos of her, having followed your blog for some time. Hang in there. Things change quickly that first year!

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  2. Dear Sara, thank you once again for your honesty and directness. Those early weeks with a first baby can be very challenging, and heart wrenching. Your post brought back memories for me, too, trying anything and everything to soothe a colicky babe, or, just simply holding him and letting him cry. (Yes, I cried along from time to time.) New moms are so vulnerable, and you are to be commended for your courage despite feeling unsure.

    Failure to thrive is a devastating diagnosis for parents. My niece was diagnosed at two years of age after one of her parents passed away unexpectedly during a routine surgery. It is very hard to be fully responsible for your child, and at the same time to recognize that they are their own person, complete with challenges, even at such a young age. The important thing is not that we protect our children from every obstacle and every danger, but that we advocate for them, support them, and set aside our feelings of inadequacy to step up to the plate with them. You’ve done just that!

    I’ve enjoyed your blog for years because you write from the heart, with such great sincerity. Your love for Abby shines through with great power, and she clearly she adores you. I can see it in her eyes!

    Like

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